GALACTIC BUREAU





OF IMMIGRATION

Welcome to the Galactic bureau of immigration. This page is about inter species copulation, and is apart of our social assimilation programme. Here you will find instructional videos on how to breed with the 3 main alien species that will be arriving on earth. This page is intended to educate humans on their new extra-terrestrial arrivals.

Glorbos are boneless, organless beings that can manipulate their gelatinous body into most shapes. To mate with a glorbo, undress and bend over, facing away from it. Glorbos are very shy and coy, so it may take some time for it to begin its part in the mating ritual. If you are having little luck, you can entice the glorbo by gently wriggling your buttocks and softly expelling flatulence. After a while, the withholding glorb will deem you a worthy mate, and will climb inside your presented orifice. From here, it will climb through your digestive system, and arrive at your stomach, where it will transform itself into an egg, that will fill with helium and float to the bottom of your throat. Next, you must vomit this egg into your mouth, and leave it there for a few minutes to reach its optimum temperature. After this, remove the egg from your mouth and throw it on the floor. The egg will crack, and out will spill a yolk that quickly forms many small foetuses. The infants will consume the white of their egg, and roll away, slowly growing into the form of an adult glorbo within a few decades.

Shplongs are bipedal three eyed beings, with their third eye being a highly erogenous area. Prod this third eye with significant force, and you should see a large penile vessel emerge from the shplong’s pelvis. This vessel will likely be very tall, meaning you will have to jump onto it, positioning yourself so that it enters your excretory passage and penetrates as deep as possible. Next, stay as motionless as possible, for around 45 minutes, for the shplong to deposit their procreational fluids inside you. You should feel this fluid move up your intestines, gathering nutrients, and growing in size as it ascends up your body - until eventually you feel it climbing out of your throat. You may spit the now fleshy lump onto the floor, where it will grow into an adult shplong within a year or so.

Bilbongs resemble the earth based cephalopod, the octopus. However, instead of tentacles, the bilbong has eight fleshy penises. To breed with a bilbong, you will first need to ask for consent. Then, you will need to gently grip one or more of their appendages and rub up and down slowly, until warm, thick, white goo shoots out of the end of the appendage. This can take anywhere from seconds to hours, depending on how effective your technique is. Direct the warm fluid into a cup, and drink - or drink directly from the tip of the appendage. Healthy goop should taste mildly fishy and quite salty, and should coat the inside of your mouth while you drink it. Next, swallow the bilbong you have just pleasured. Bilbongs are boneless, and will fit nearly any space, so you should be able to swallow it hole. After just a few minutes, you should start to feel some strange movements in your bowels, and excrete a gelatinous pile of matter. Next, you will need to fertilise this spawn, with a stream of urine, splashed directly onto the pile. Almost instantly, the pile should start to shake and deform into globules, which eventually hop away and will mature into an adult bilbong within a few days. FYI: you will not pass the adult bilbong you ingested earlier, it will have dissolved in your stomach acid, forming the gelatinous matter you excrete.